Well crap…

Day 10 or 11, depending: can’t win for losing.

It seems Wednesday’s post (in which I announced I was taking Thursday off) not only failed to publish, but has vanished completely.

I’m not terribly upset. It wasn’t very good.

It irks me that it may appear that I skipped two days though, but I wonder…who cares about that but me? Answer: (crickets) yeah. almost certainly no one.

I have something to say about the day off, though, and this day that followed it:
Though both were hard days (in their own ways), this day was easier…maybe, just maybe, because I took yesterday off.

I MADE myself take yesterday off. I did not ALLOW myself to do anything I did not want to do. I did not allow myself to feel guilty (or I stopped it as soon as possible) for not doing more. IT WAS SO HARD. Way harder than working. On anything.

The result, maybe “a” result, was that, today, I did not spend an unnecessary amount of time doing things I did not want to do. I have done what I needed to, but I haven’t agonized over every little thing like I usually do.

Dare I say it? Am I…RELAXING? Let’s not be hasty. Maybe a tad.

The point of all this (maybe “a” point) is to say something I have to keep reminding myself of (so I may have said it before). Learning to do ANYTHING (even take a day off) means you don’t know how to do it already. Which means you’re bad at it.

We all (even me) have to be bad at things before we can be good at them.

I am bad at relaxing.