Sometimes things look one way from one perspective and completely upside down from another. I wonder how that happens. Is it a trick of the light? Bad timing? Or totally not what you thought you were looking at at all?
why can’t things just make sense?
This month I have been working on GOODBYE with R and we have made some fantastic progress.
i’m still not happy …
It’s strange looking back on work I started so long ago (five years) and that I labored over so intensely (two of those, I think) and not recognize my own work. It’s hard for me to believe this stuff came out of my head.
except when I come across something stupid, then I’m convinced it’s my work.
I’m walking a tightrope between wanting what I have and having what I want. It’s difficult, but not impossible, to negotiate. Here’s to the third week of the month.
I was asked to collaborate with another hope*writer on the subject of intentional kindness. This is what I came up with:
Intentional kindness involves thinking ahead to give a gift. Often, I have found, this gift is silence: allowing someone else the space to be themselves. Especially when we don’t agree with their opinions or views, silence can be loving our neighbors in a way that is difficult and sometimes impossible. Silence also leaves room for listening, another intentional kindness.
What do you think?
What is your definition of intentional kindness?
It also made me think of my purpose in being a hope*writer:
I’ve been struggling lately with how I write for Hope.
Hope is part of my daily existence, but in my writing..?
I was focused too much on perfection, a constant struggle of mine.
I spent way too much time on the “finished” scenes (in quotes because they are in no way finished, but they are complete) and not enough time writing the “to write” scenes.
It hasn’t been easy. I’m not fighting the surf, but the waves have been tugging at me and slowing me down. It’s been a hard week for work and getting things done around the house or in the world, and I haven’t written much of what I wanted to write.
I didn’t get as distracted by editing tasks as I did the week before, but I didn’t move as much stuff on my KANBAN board: spoiler: ONE post it has moved…
The last day of writing this week I really knuckled down with a good friend and we pounded out some words. This post was part of that. I’ve fallen behind in some of my other projects and caught up in many more.
Sometimes I feel the current sucking at my feet, but I believe I’ll make it. The end of JULY and the end of this challenge are within sight, and I know my plans for the future.
It’s a unique place for me, kind of like the top of Everest. From what I’ve heard, you don’t get to take in the view very long before you have to go back down…
I’ve heard this expression so much this week I had to begin with it.
Being ‘in the weeds,’ I guess, is to be hung up in the details.
Missing the forest for the trees.
That’s a bit where I am.
I got hung up in the prep for CAMP, and the writing got off to a slow start.
It’s going better now.
I’ve finished the ending and done a little more. Notes to myself look something like this:
THAT’S A REALLY GREAT ENDING SO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY BEFORE THAT.
As of the last post, I had a little over 5K words.
To date, I have 13,034.
IT’S BEEN A GOOD WEEK.
(I wrote that before I knew it would be)
TODAY (JULY 7th) I caught up to my word count goal and am now back on track for writing 1k a day to make my goal. I’m excited, and I can’t wait to update.
TODAY (JULY 10th) I caught up again after falling behind. I wrote nearly three thousand words. I had more to say here, but my update didn’t save.
TODAY (JULY 13th) I am finishing this post before I do any more writing on LUKE. Priorities.
My progress has seemed scattered to me, but the truth is it’s been quite good. Not only the word count, but also the actual product.
I’m pleased with what I’m writing.
I went through beginning to end (or rather vice versa) and there’s very little off target.
Here’s the progress my board has made!
I’m still getting distracted. Don’t think all those words are LUKE related. I’ve done a lot though, and I’m proud of my progress.
You may or may not be aware that this is my first post since JULYCAMP NANOWRIMO began, but I wanted to show y’all how I have set up and prepped the last few days of JUNE.Here’s a recap of where I am on the project as of the last post:
Hope*writers had a 14 day challenge I took up at the end of JUNE. There were 14 days left in the month, and I challenged myself to work on my second novel LUKE for 15 minutes each of those 14 days.
I succeeded.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com
LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN: I totally won JUNE
Now a little about how I prepped for CAMP.
You may remember that CAMP NANOWRIMO is a little different in that you can set your own word count goal. I typically use the CAMPs (in APRIL and JULY) to rework novels I have started in NOVEMBER. This project (LUKE) is an exception to that rule. I started it as a new project last JULY and am trying to publish it out of the order in which it was written.
Why?
Because it’s a completed story: I know the beginning middle and end. I know all the major events, though some of the details are bound to change. That’s not true for all my fiction, plus LUKE is definitely more “written” than some of my other ideas.
Since I know all the major elements of the story and have gotten stuck typing them in order, I’VE COMMITTED TO WRITING THE THING BACKWARDS:
WHY?!?
Because it’s good for me. I’ve never done anything like it before, but as several of my students can tell you, I often tell them to write the parts they know.
Often that includes the ending.
Since I know the ending, I’m going to write it. Since I know the scene before that, I’m going to write that too, and the scene before that, and so on.
When we get to where I began before, I’ll deal with it.
I think my characters will look different this way (from back to front) and it will be easier to write some of them.
Some of them are just going to be hard to write no matter what.
I started putting together my notebook. I blessed myself the day I found these things and remembered the hard work I have already put in:
Lots of notes on characters. What they do and who they are. I’m really excited I found this.
This is what I spent the 30th of JUNE doing:
KANBAN1
I decided to make a KANBAN board to help me with this month. I’ve done a very simple one here with only three categories. TO WRITE: The scenes I haven’t done yet. For the purpose of CAMP this year, I’ve decided to group all the scenes together and either rewrite or heavily edit those that I have already written.
IN PROGRESS: These are the scenes that I am currently working on and will be writing this month. When I decide to work on a scene, as soon as I have any words on it, I will move it to the IN PROGRESS board.
DONE: I’ll take each scene and move it down accordingly. I’m really excited to be able to see my progress throughout the month and to be able to share it with y’all.
KANBAN2
STAY TUNED FOR MORE CAMP UPDATES THIS MONTH AND HAPPY JULY TO ALL!
Got a lot written in my notebook before falling asleep most of the day. Then watching the countdown clock while trying to read for censorship. All in a day’s work.
I did do some interesting work on LUKE’S background. You know, pre-story elements that influence or foreshadow events in the novel.
JUNE 24:
I typed the word LUKE.
Actually, I did begin the very important step of organizing a story binder for my novel. This is where I take all the loose pieces of paper and put them together in a binder. It reminds me of story elements I may have forgotten (like the layout of a certain apartment complex) or need a refresher on (what was the bartender’s real name?). Remember, it’s been a year since I looked at this stuff and not all of it has stuck.
JUNE 25:
I am hopeless. I will do the hard work.
Today it has been especially hard to write about LUKE because I feel so uninspired and tired of the whole project. I’d love to say there are only five days left in the challenge, but that’s only in the blog challenge. I don’t know why I can’t seem to sit down and write about LUKE no matter what I do. So here I sit writing about how I can’t write about my book. That sounds like a filthy excuse, and I should go back to writing.
Upon a second glance, it looks like I did some important background work on a couple of characters. That’s never wasted time.
JUNE 26
So, I’ve done more blogging about writing than writing itself. That’s ok the writing will come next month.
JULY CAMP is next month (only a few days now). I’ve adjusted my goal from 50K to 30K.
SAD FACE 😦
If you remember, I wanted to write 50K in APRIL and didn’t make it. I did make 30K.
While I totally believe it’s possible to write 50K in a month and plan to do it again in NOVEMBER, I don’t think this month or this project is the time to push boundaries. I would rather have 20K of usable words than 50K of gibberish, which is usually what I come up with the first go round.
For JULY’s hard work, I am going to try to write LUKE backwards.
Yes, you heard me. End to beginning.
You may be thinking:
But why?!? Didn’t you say you already have the beginning done?
YES! look how far it’s gotten me…
JUNE 27
I started practicing the backwards thing, trying to tell myself the story in reverse. I actually remembered quite a bit, I’m proud to say.
Here’s me getting real with myself about a couple of my characters:
They’re not going to be considerate people, and they’re not going to have good ideas.
Sometimes I have to get over what I thought I was doing and write the characters as they are, not as I would wish them to be. Not everyone in my stories are nice people, and though it would be great to only write about nice people, I’ve committed to telling the truth in my fiction, and the truth is frequently ugly.
JUNE 28
Yet another (unconventional) character has appeared in my peripheral vision, and though s/he must be acknowledged, I’m not sure s/he must be developed. We shall see.
Questions about setting. Whether the events I have taking place are appropriate for the location they are taking place and vice versa. How do my characters fit into this setting, and do I have the right things in place.
JUNE 29
More blogging than writing, but that’s ok. It’s the last day of the month tomorrow and that will be my final prep day. I’m going to continue assembling my notebook and will be ready to rock and roll on the 1st …
J says: I’d rather be 100% done with 10% of the work than 10% done with 100% of the work
JUNE 16TH:
LUKE for 15MIN. What am I going to do? I hate all of it. It’s garbage. Next month is CAMP, and I know I should work on LUKE, but I don’t know where to start. FREAK OUT. Go back to the list:
when in doubt, we can always…
begin at the beginning
muddle through the middle
end with the ending
It just so happens this novel has three parts, so that’s particularly helpful.
I think I will go over the notes and decide what to do.
MUDDY MIDDLE IT IS! I decided to tackle this character head on and try to get inside. We shall see how it works, but for today that is enough.
JUNE 17TH:
Today I did the work of going back over my notes, or at least starting to. I began to get the character a little more. I re-met the person I have been writing about for months.
It was like running into an old acquaintance and remembering some fond and distant memory the two of you share.
I was inspired by my writing group, BYONAP (more on them later), whose assignment it is this week to uncover some character quirks. We wanted to have a laugh and that’s what we’ve come up with. This is not the project I’m working on for them, but I decided it was a good dry run for that work.
So, I began to unearth my character’s quirks as well as his/her past and the reasons he/she ticks. My characters have a heartbeat and I treat them like real people who whisper their stories in my ear.
I am not afraid to share them with you.
However, I don’t want to give the story or parts of the novel away by referring to specific characters and their development. That’s why the he/she.
I don’t even want to know which character I’m talking about unless I just happen to remember. It’s important y’all not feel like you’ve read the novel before it’s published, because that would suck, and you wouldn’t want to buy it.
I want you to want to buy it very much.
JUNE 18TH
Mostly rambled. J asked how an event happened. I’d thought about the event, but not the episodes leading up to it.
I realized I need some more research (or at least quick google searches to make sure I’m not making stupid mistakes)
JUNE 19TH
More ramblings on another character. How he/she is dressed and what’s the particular problem. Insecurities and character quirks. Details about this person’s job.
JUNE 20
ALL IS DOOMED. I may have to start over. I’ve been asked and asked myself some hard questions about these characters. Deep questions about their motivations and backgrounds that formed the people they are. I don’t know if I’ve said it here, but I feel and respect my characters as real people telling me their stories, so to think I may have misjudged them or they may not end up where I thought is disconcerting. This is probably nothing new, but I’m panicking.
DIRTY REALISM is the official genre, says R. I’m pretty sure that still makes it LIT FIC, but who knows.
Another character has entered my head and I’m wondering about the necessity of creating yet another. Madness I tell you. These characters are doing things that don’t make sense to me and I’m afraid I’m going to end up with yet another story I didn’t intend to write.
JUNE 21
Starting back over with a character. R asked me to describe this character and it got me thinking about his/her motivations and origins. It was nice to go back to the drawing board, though I still haven’t looked at my notes or anything. All of this is coming out of my head, and I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. It’s helpful to re-think the whens whys and hows of where characters came from and how they got to where they are.
That’s it for this week. Thanks for reading and stay tuned to me *hopefully* getting my act together next week. Until.
Nobody wants to be that baby bird’s mother except his/her actual mother.
That’s great. Awfully sweet.
If my manuscript was a baby bird, it would have perished long ago.
I have been so inattentive, I almost killed the thing worse than my houseplant. I’m so neglectful. So far I’m SIXTEEN days into JUNE and I’ve barely touched the manuscript except to take these glorious
PICTURES.
THIS IS WHAT A NOVEL LOOKS LIKE BEFORE IT’S A BOOK.
Poor LUKE has suffered, but I promised to give updates and I’m committed to being honest about it. My first struggle has been to START.
I wanted to start at the beginning of MAY, but it turns out I may need that month off as a break from the SCHEDULE I’ve created for myself.
I also wanted to begin at the beginning of JUNE, but it seems I had other fish to fry.
My struggles have been TWO:
I have not wanted to reread the part I have written, which amounts to a full section (or third) of the whole. There is no reason I should not want to reread this except I am tired of being in that character’s head. See point 2.
I have resisted entering another character’s head, for the second third of the book, because I’m not a fan. I find parts of this character personally despicable, and I don’t wish to enter that mindset. It’s understandable, but my conclusion is…
I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OVER IT
and deal.
with the WORK at hand.
Then I decided to be gentler with myself, and I went to explore hope*writers and see what they were up to…
long story short…they’re doing a 14 day challenge and there are 14 days left in June.
I mean…
It doesn’t get any clearer than that. So my only challenge for the rest of the month is to work on LUKE for 15MIN a day.
Of course I’ll keep you posted.
Here’s another thing about baby birds. At some point, and I have witnessed this recently, mom or dad leave the nest, and the babies are on their own.
That means flying or falling. Falling means dying or flying, as I’ve also witnessed.
It takes some nerve to creep to the edge of the nest, but the only choices are up or down.
litewings.ink 